I’m Married! No Need For Purity… NOT!
So you’ve done your best to remain pure before getting married, and now you’ve finally walked down the aisle and you’re thinking, “I’m FREE! I can do whatever I want now. All my sensors have been completely shut off!” I’m sure we all have felt like this one way or another, or we still feel this way about the future because we are not yet married. Unfortunately, that’s not how things work when you get married. We have limited purity to “not having sex” or “only having sex during marriage”, and yes, that’s a portion of it, but that’s not what purity encompasses in it’s entirety.
A lot of us think that our whole relationship with God is about the fact that we remain “pure” before marriage as if getting married is the sole purpose of our lives. In marriage, you are even more susceptible to failing at purity. Sexual impurity is truly a THING in marriage. While married, you are now responsible for purity in your thoughts and actions towards others because it can and will cause infidelity between yourself and your spouse. I bet you didn’t think of that. Infidelity starts in your mind, and God has already told us that the very things we’ve done in our mind are still considered sin because we have basically done them. Thinking about celebrity crushes or having lustful thoughts that don’t include your spouse are impure.
You may have refrained from pornography in your single days and may wonder if it is now okay to watch since you’re married, but it isn’t okay. Porn will never be an “okay” thing whether you are single or married. The same way we encourage others to guard their eyes, and ears from things that will not benefit them, adults or married couples also need to do the same because they have the same negative effects on each and every one of our lives. This also applies to reading certain books, and engaging in activities that are not appropriate for the purpose of why God brought the two of you together. You may think that you are watching porn together for whatever reason, but in the end, porn will have you, and next thing you know, your spouse will be more interested in the artificial acts of others having sex as opposed to engaging in that with you.
Hebrews 13: 4(NLT) says, “Give honor to marriage, and remain faithful to one another in marriage. God will surely judge people who are immoral and those who commit adultery.” The same verse in the New International version says, “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
In the New International version, the phrase used is “marriage bed kept pure”. Your marriage bed can only be kept pure if it only includes the two of you. When you insist on watching porn or allowing other particular influences into your bed, you don’t know what spirits you could potentially be inviting into that bed or what physical person you may end up inviting into your bed as well. Some of these influences will have you thinking that you need to invite a third party into your marriage bed, and that would be equivalent to defiling it because that would then violate the vows that you two have made to each other, and the vows you made before God to “forsake all others”. Many of us find it hard to share our 2 for $20 meal at Applebee’s but somehow think it’s easier to share our spouses sexually with other people. Those thoughts are not of God. They are of the enemy, and if those thoughts are creeping into your mind, it’s important that you check your daily routine and figure out what source is being used to plant those thoughts into your minds. Sometimes, it can stem from a show that you’re watching or the music you are listening to, and etc. At times we think that we are too strong for the enemy to use us, but he will use that very thing that you wouldn’t suspect to plant ungodly thoughts and habits.
The topic of sexual impurity is not for “singles” or those who are not married. Many of us think that the struggles of sexual purity end when we say “I do”, but to be very honest, they do not. That’s why it’s more important to have a handle on these issues BEFORE you get married. A lot of people think that they can behave anyhow and that marriage will cure their quests for superficial, self-serving satisfaction, however, it’s only setting you up for impurity in your marriages.
Now, I’m not saying that keeping away from theses things will keep you from being tempted sexually because it won’t. The moment you get married, you have an imaginary target on your back because marriage is of God and the devil wants to do whatever he can to tear you away from God’s will. So yes, you will be tempted, but strengthening yourself and becoming more familiar with the fact that sexual impurity is a “THING”, you are more apt to come out unscathed with the Lord’s help and guidance.
At the end of the day, being married and having access to particular benefits is only one portion of the promises God has given us. Our lives are much more than that, and purity is extended to those other areas of our lives. As long as you are for God, living a life of purity will continue to be an everyday thing. We aspire to be like God, and He is Holy, so we ought to want to emulate Him in every aspect.
1 Peter 1:15-16(NLT) —> “But now you must be holy in everything you do, just as God who chose you is holy. For the Scriptures say, ‘You must be holy because I am holy.’”
Keep your marriage pure sexually. Keep those lustful thoughts and actions between yourself and your spouse. After all, that’s how God designed for it to be.
God Loves You.